Are you for Real? Seriously? How did you put your shoes on this morning?

I put up my own ad months back. I got lots of responses. I picked out a few, corresponded and met some men. Here’s is a good one. He wrote something simple and seemed genuine. He sent a pic and he looked alright. I wrote back, we exchanged emails a few times. 38, single, full time dad (yikes but hell…it is the age, and well at least he was in the kid’s life, and he was straight up about it) He gave me his phone number. I called him. He seemed friendly…but red flags and alarm bells started zinging all over the show…… laid off, not working, hated his parents, his dad was a drunk and beat him…yikes, and that is why he is so adamant about being in his own kid’s life……then says something about his kids…

"Whoa….I thought you said you have a son, did you just say kids with an “s”?"

"Oh yeah, I have a 12-year-old daughter, but I don't see her because she lives with her mother, and her mother is a nutbar."

Seeing red! Ring Ring!

" How about the mother of your son?"

"Oh yeah, she is a nutbar too."

Hmmmm…this is not sounding good here. Too nutty.

"I gotta go."

A few days later he wrote me, saying he had such a great time talking me, he felt there was a connection, so he would really love to meet me. I wrote back saying, although he seemed every nice, he sounded like he just had too much going on and no time for me, so sorry I don’t want to be on the back burner…it’s not you, it’s me.
He wrote back saying I took the wind out of his sails and please would I give him a chance…ahhhh fine, I'll have to break it to him face to face that this won't work. I suggested he meet me for lunch at the mall. I gave him two days as options; he picked one, we set it up. I went to the mall…I thought I was going to be late, hustled my butt over there thinking I was keeping someone waiting. No one. (and I wasn’t late, I was on the dot, on time….where the hell was he? Pet peeve, lateness…you are meeting me for the first time, plus you practically begged me to meet you…try to be on time!) I ordered my food, sat down and scoured the crowd for someone who looked like he was looking for someone. No one. I lost my appetite, threw my lunch in the garbage and left…didn’t I tell him, he had too much going on?

Later that day when I got home from work, expecting an email from him, but found none, I wrote him saying: I was there, where were you? Listen, I told you that you seemed to have too much going on and this just proved you do. I am sorry, I am done.

He never wrote back for days……then I get an email:

Ok, first I want to apologize profusely and hope you will forgive me. Please let me explain. We were supposed to meet on Monday. Do you remember me telling you sometimes I don’t know what day it is? Well, I got up on Tuesday, thinking all day that it was Monday, taking my time primping for you before lunch, excited about our lunch date when I realized…..it was Tuesday! I am so sorry I missed our date. Can you give me another chance?

You are kidding, right? You don’t know what day it is? All day Monday you thought it was Sunday? How did your son get to school? How do you put your shoes on in the morning?